I saw a friend sharing a post recently about her word of the year and I immediately started writing a blog post in my head, outlining mine. I have lots of blog posts in my head. All the time. Some never see the light of the day. Actually most never see the light of the day at the moment as my head is a mess and more often than not I am incapable of getting the words out into any kind of legible blog post. Some posts in my head get reworded, rewritten and mulled over for days. Only to then be forgotten about. The remainder do get “blogged” but of course by the time I come to commit them to the internet they are never as pithy as the version I mentally wrote at 2am the week before.
I have been mulling over my word of the year since reading my friend’s post. It was to be hope, for without hope what do we have? I was going to find an erudite quote and share it here. Explain why hope is my favourite word and why it would be my word of 2018. But as the mulling over at 4am continued I came to realise that my word of the year is not necessarily my favourite word. That these two things can be mutually exclusive.
Hope has been my favourite word for as long as I can remember but it doesn’t really sum up my word for the year. Once I had come to that realisation the blog post in my head centering around hope got shelved. Almost instantly it was replaced with the word that really sums up what I want from 2018.
What I want for myself. For others. For my blog. Career. Life in general. That word is: enough
Enough seems a strange word when you are thinking about changing a mindset or a way of thinking. Surely it should be the opposite of enough and be something like “more” or “change”, but nope it is enough.
Enough with beating myself up about the blog posts I should have written but haven’t. That I haven’t done a reflective post of the past year and a resolutions for the year ahead.
That I haven’t been posting on Instagram enough, that I haven’t been sharing my day in witty 15 second snippets on instastories. Enough.
That I still haven’t mastered photography, editing, Lightroom, cataloguing my photos to make them easier to find in the future. Enough. What I am doing is enough
Ditto scheduling blog posts to be shared after posting via Buffer. Enough. It doesn’t matter, I don’t need to worry about the extra page views they would get. It doesn’t matter. Enough.
All these things that I think I should be doing, that I lie awake worrying about, castigating myself about. Enough.
That I haven’t emptied the crumb tray under the toaster or washed the filters in the extractor hob in about a year. Enough. It really isn’t the end of the world.
Worrying about the friendships that have broken down over the past year. I have been “dumped” by a couple of people I thought were good friends, but who, in hindsight can’t have been. Seems I was only there when they needed something and they have been somehow absent when I have needed a friend. Enough now. Enough of worrying about it. About them. Whether I should contact them one last time etc etc. Enough, I am letting it go and focusing on the friendships that are important to me
That I am not at the “must be seen at” blogger events, or indeed many blogger events at all these days. Enough.
I am a huge fan of social media but I do find myself increasingly in cycles of doom when I compare myself to others and need to find a way to stop that. I think just saying “enough” out loud should do it.
As a wife, as a mother I need to believe I am enough. For too long I have felt I am not. That is a whole other cycle of doom at 3am
If you would like to read what some other friends have chosen as their word of the year, check out the links below:
Photo credit thanks to Unsplash