Not people boasting about stuff, that one-up-manship that men do in the pub but on Ranty Friday this week I am talking about something I read a lot: Estate Agents’ details. You know the ones I am talking about, don’t you? You don’t? Let me give you some examples:
“This property is in a residential location” — well no shit Sherlock. Where would it be? In the middle of an industrial estate?
“Charming aspect” — what the hell does that mean? It has a window basically.
“Double aspect” — it has two windows
“Well maintained” — well hold on a minute, why are we highlighting this? Are we suggesting that other houses are all dumps?
“This property boasts” — no it doesn’t. It can’t boast. It simply has that thing, it doesn’t boast it.
“enjoys gas central heating” — its got radiators.
Give me strength. A HOUSE CAN’T ENJOY SOMETHING, THE HOUSE IS AN INANIMATE OBJECT, INCAPABLE OF EMOTION OR ENJOYING OR BOASTING OR BENEFITING FROM A DAMN THING.
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Ranty Friday, a weekly linky for bloggers to let off steam. Do have a read of the other blogs that have joined in.