Wake me up when September ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends
The lyrics to “When September Ends”, the song by Green Day don’t really fit my situation but I always feel that the end of September is significant for me. I don’t acknowledge New Year too much, there is so much hype around it with all the “new year, new you” nonsense that I just can’t buy into it. Too much pressure on making some massive life change and sticking to it because if you don’t the year is ruined by the second week of January. The end of September, however, has always felt like the time of year that I make my changes.
Maybe it is because my birthday is in August and so I face this time of year a year older than I was at the start of the year, or maybe it is the dramatic changes in nature as we go from Summer to Autumn that does it. That season change is more noticeable I think than any of the others, spring just rolls into Summer but the leaves going from green to the magnificent yellows, reds and browns at this time of year are a bit like an alarm clock going off in my head.
A wake up call that the year is ending and what I have done?
Normally not a huge amount if I am honest, but this year is different. This year I approached my birthday in August thinking “I only have one more after this and then the next will be 50” and it really did make me question what I am doing with every day. Not in a mid life crisis kinda way, though maybe it was, and certainly not in the way that Green Day meant when they recorded the lyrics above (written about the death of the lead singer’s dad). But more in a “now or never” way.
I went to see my main client last week, who I have ended up working for full time (which was never really the plan) and said I needed a break. To leave. To go and do my own thing. She graciously allowed me to go with three days notice when I said I really wanted to leave at the end of the week, oh and that doesn’t include Friday because we are going away for the weekend.
Which brings us to today. To me feeling a bit adrift. To trying to work out how to focus on all the things I want to do, need to do. I do have a couple of projects to keep me busy but they both allow me to do them as and when I like, thankfully. I no longer have emails dropping into my inbox every minute. No phone calls. Nothing tying me to a desk from 8am to 6pm. I now have the freedom to do all the things I want to do, I just don’t know what they all are right now. Or how to structure my day.
You know when you have wanted something for what feels like such a long time, that when it finally happens you suddenly feel panic? That is how I am feeling today! I can now focus on being a blogger full time, not just on here (so be prepared for more blog posts than has been the norm of late, due to the day job) but also for other people. That is one of the other projects that I have up my sleeve so I need to get up to speed on how blogging, SEO and WordPress have all changed in the past few years. And it also means I need to learn how to blog with an American accent
Please wish me luck, I really think I am going to need it!!