Standing in the grass

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Bare feet in the grass

I have been in a reflective mood recently.   Thinking about things in the past.  Distant and recent.  Wondering if I could have done things differently.   Or if other people could have done things differently.   If I had my time again would I do the same again?  Or would I make different decisions in those same situations.   Pondering the what ifs.    Pondering on whether I am having some kind of mid life crisis.  Or full blown breakdown (I did a test recently that said if you answered yes to one of four questions then you were. I answered yes to all four).

I don’t have any answers really.

There aren’t really any questions.

Just lots of noise.

In my head.

That won’t shut up.

That needs processing somehow.  Alongside working during the busiest time of year in the property industry.   Whilst catching up with a huge backlog of blog posts and blog admin.   Amongst the daily worries about money.   The constant niggles of not being an attentive enough mother or wife.    The complete incompetence in the kitchen.     The emails that need answering.   The photos that need editing.    The endless list of DIY.

A life lived at 100 miles an hour.

Constantly.   That as soon as I stop I fall asleep or lose the ability to even want to speak, but just wanting to stare into the middle distance.

A realisation that my body is telling me to stop, giving me physical symptoms because I ignore the emotional ones.

That I need to stop.

I need to stand on wet grass in bare feet.   This is how I clear my head.  This is how I ground myself.  Literally.  Standing on wet grass in bare feet is one of the most powerful exercises you can do if you need to just stop.

It connects you back to earth.  It stops you flying.  Feeling that everything is happening around you in a blur.

Finding a patch of sun if I can, taking off my shoes and just standing on grass and breathing in huge lungfuls of fresh air is my coping mechanism.

It’s what I need to do this afternoon.     And in a weird way that the world sometimes gives you things you didn’t even know you need when you first see them I have just seen a blog about living life more slowly and taking a seven day email course on how to do just that.  How to ditch the chaos.   So have signed up.

It probably starts with making a cup of tea.

Anyone got any biscuits?

Photograph of being barefoot in grass courtesy of Shutterstock

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  • Ah I am so glad that you signed up – I started it yesterday. I have found this week what I’ve been missing out on is just going for a walk and clearing my mind, I NEED that cut off time to just process life in my own way. Really easy to think ‘oh I haven’t got time to go off and walk for an hour’ I know, but really I need to look at is as ‘can I risk NOT having that hour to myself?’

    Much love pickle x

  • It seems that so many people are experiencing this at the moment. I for one am on this journey with you. My ‘space’ is walking the dog in the open air, at the meadow just down the road from me (and your daughter’s school!). Open spaces are what does it for me. We all need it all the time but sometimes? We reach crisis point and our body is literally screaming at us to STOP! So important to listen. Please take the time. x x

  • I ground myself in the sea. Preferably the warm, playful Greek sea but at a push, the British sea will do. This isn’t easy, living in London. I have to make do with cold baths disconcertingly often.

    I’m so sorry to read that you’re feeling swamped and overwhelmed. Sometimes your mental health has to take priority, but it’s hard when you know that if you stop NOW, everything will still be there when you come back to it, plus all of its new friends.

    • I too love the sea. There is something incredibly calming about watching a tide just roll in and out. Agreed, Greece is better but Southsea is more likely for us these days.

      Thanks for your comment

  • A Bath or a good book or a potter in my garden all give me breathing space. I think lots of us are feeling a bit like this lately- I am putting it down to heading for the end of a long school year – we need the break as much as the kids – 7 lovely weeks of no school admin, lunch boxes, homework checking, letter reading, charity events etc. and hopefully you can spend all the minutes freed up by not having to do that stuff with your feet firmly planted in the lawn. Xx

    • Thanks Sonya Funnily enough that pottering in the garden is becoming more and more appealing And you are so right about the holidays. I have 13 weeks of them now that Ellie has finished her GCSEs and is now off. And whilst I love the lack of school runs I am missing the routine to an extent. Enjoy your summer!

  • I hope that you do manage to check in the with yourself and the earth, to slow down, this afternoon. Life passes by too quickly to not take time out sometimes to appreciate it, to love the little things.
    I hope the email course helps you too.

  • So glad to have you on board for the course – it can be so difficult to switch off from everything going on in our hectic lives, so I hope you find it useful and inspiring.

    Eleanor
    x

  • Might also be worth having a look at some of the 3 Principles stuff. One of the most effective answers to overwhelm. Your course may be based on it…

  • I’ve recently rejoined the canoe club and taken up kayaking again. Paddling along the river on a summers evening dies wonders for my soul. I wish you well with you journey my darling xx

  • I love that grass thing. You are so wise and wonderful yet always worrying. I have been pondering a lot too lately. Watch a video from space of earth or look at the stars. We are diddly things but we deserve to be happy. In the end I am doing more of what I want to do, and funnily enough still getting the other stuff done. Time and motivation are weird. Abbie told me to sign up to – I think we might be onto something. Chin up wonderful and feet up 😉 xxx

  • Stop. Stop. Stop. AND BREATHE. I have to be honest I have had two weeks mostly away from blogging and social media and it is not long enough. I am going to take more. Log off for a month. Just deal with the actual life shit. Then come back and we will all be waiting for you right here xxx