Accident Prone or just stupid?

Listening to my favourite radio station this morning and they were having a phone in on “cartoon injuries”.   I called in with a story of my dad and how he had his nose broken as a teenager (bricks / “oi duck” / stand up / wallop) and then the more I thought about it the more I came up with that had involved me.   And then I pondered whether that made me accident prone or just plain stupid.

Maybe you can decide for me?

First up the enormous bruise that filled the back of my thigh (and my thighs are not small.  This was a bruise of epic proprotions).    Huge, black and purple and hot to touch.   And so painful not only could I not sit down but I called NHS Direct one night because I was seriously worried about it.    They suggested A&E.   Great.

So off I went. Calling Mr B en route (we weren’t living together then) as I was feeling teary, and sitting on one arse cheek to drive to the nearest hospital.  Mr B drove down from Teddington to Hampshire to hold my hand.   After a short wait the lovely doctor asked to see said bruise.

Embarrassing in itself, though I had put my best pants on as I suspected this would happen.

“Oooh nasty.  How did you manage that?”

Cue giggles from Mr B.

At a friend’s engagement party over the weekend I had taken my shoes off because they were killing me and after one too many Pepsi’s I managed to catch my foot in my ever so slightly too long silk trousers….. and plonked arse down on the top of a marble flight of stairs.   And then proceeded to speed down the entire flight, round a bend, on said arse and zoom, yes zoom, out at the end and deposit myself in amongst a small group of fellow revellers.    Picture that moment a bowling ball gets returned to you, shooting out of that return trap.  Yep, that was me.

Accident or stupid?

I broke a toe once as I ran up the stairs chasing a cat.   Accident or stupid?

I broke another toe when a jar of jam fell out of the fridge.  Accident or stupid?

PS it was apricot.

Or how about when I broke two fingers having a water fight with a teenager (not one of mine) who was insisting on running away?   Accident?

And to stop him running away I put my fingers through the belt loop of his jeans… he went one way, my fingers went the other…..  Stupid?

I burnt myself with the iron once.   Accident right? 

Having put on my favourite blouse and realising the collar wasn’t flat I decided to iron it.

Whilst wearing it

Burning my left boob

Not only that but a week later somebody saw said burn (perfect triangle with a steam hole in the middle) and said “That looks like you have burnt yourself with an iron.  But surely you wouldn’t have been so stupid as to iron your own boob”.


Think I just answered my own question.

As you were

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • I broke my toe on a swing rope in a children’s pay centre. A week before V festival. Ouch.
    I’ve also burnt my hand by grabbing the hot side of the iron to fill it with water. Duh!

  • Not so long ago I read the warnings in the guide that came with a new steam iron. “Do Not Iron Clothes whilst wearing’ it said and I remarked to MrsG, jeepers, these safety notices are getting silly now, who the hell would iron clothes whilst wearing them!”.

    Now I know…..

  • PMSL…you always make me smile 🙂

    I usually burn my hands taking things out of the cooker, accident or stupid….stupid because I forget to get the oven glove first 🙂 x

  • I managed to cause £20k worth of fire damage to my kitchen……….cooking turkey dinosaurs.
    I think some of us are just wired differently, although I’ve never ironed my boob x

  • Oh Mummy Barrow, I witnessed the stairs incident but in your defence upon arrival at that same party I fell over the back door step and ended up flat on face on the decking in front of all my new colleagues! Therefore, I blame the layout not you, I or the Champagne!

    …as for that Iron burn (also witnessed first hand) … epic fail, but amused me for hours on the day and many times since!

    I reversed my car (with rear paring sensors) into a brick wall outside a chinese takeaway once… actually come to thing of it, I was getting takeaway for you and me! I blame you 😉


  • I got no sympathy whatsoever for getting a very painful mouse bite! (Was only trying to rescue it – successfully I might say – from next door’s cat) They even laughed at A and E when I went for an anti-tetanus jab!!

  • I ironed the zip part on a pair of jeans whilst wearing them and burnt my stomach, it was very sore for ages! Never again!! (it was many years ago) 🙂