Listening to my favourite radio station this morning and they were having a phone in on “cartoon injuries”. I called in with a story of my dad and how he had his nose broken as a teenager (bricks / “oi duck” / stand up / wallop) and then the more I thought about it the more I came up with that had involved me. And then I pondered whether that made me accident prone or just plain stupid.
Maybe you can decide for me?
First up the enormous bruise that filled the back of my thigh (and my thighs are not small. This was a bruise of epic proprotions). Huge, black and purple and hot to touch. And so painful not only could I not sit down but I called NHS Direct one night because I was seriously worried about it. They suggested A&E. Great.
So off I went. Calling Mr B en route (we weren’t living together then) as I was feeling teary, and sitting on one arse cheek to drive to the nearest hospital. Mr B drove down from Teddington to Hampshire to hold my hand. After a short wait the lovely doctor asked to see said bruise.
Embarrassing in itself, though I had put my best pants on as I suspected this would happen.
“Oooh nasty. How did you manage that?”
Cue giggles from Mr B.
At a friend’s engagement party over the weekend I had taken my shoes off because they were killing me and after one too many Pepsi’s I managed to catch my foot in my ever so slightly too long silk trousers….. and plonked arse down on the top of a marble flight of stairs. And then proceeded to speed down the entire flight, round a bend, on said arse and zoom, yes zoom, out at the end and deposit myself in amongst a small group of fellow revellers. Picture that moment a bowling ball gets returned to you, shooting out of that return trap. Yep, that was me.
Accident or stupid?
I broke a toe once as I ran up the stairs chasing a cat. Accident or stupid?
I broke another toe when a jar of jam fell out of the fridge. Accident or stupid?
PS it was apricot.
Or how about when I broke two fingers having a water fight with a teenager (not one of mine) who was insisting on running away? Accident?
And to stop him running away I put my fingers through the belt loop of his jeans… he went one way, my fingers went the other….. Stupid?
I burnt myself with the iron once. Accident right?
Having put on my favourite blouse and realising the collar wasn’t flat I decided to iron it.
Whilst wearing it
Burning my left boob
Not only that but a week later somebody saw said burn (perfect triangle with a steam hole in the middle) and said “That looks like you have burnt yourself with an iron. But surely you wouldn’t have been so stupid as to iron your own boob”.
Think I just answered my own question.
As you were