Dear Giles Coren

Dear Giles Coren

I have just seen on social media that you recently reviewed a cafe near a beach on the south coast and whilst doing so ranted about “tattooed fatties day tripping from Plymouth”.

Now I can’t work out if you actually mean that or if you said it as some kind of traffic driving click bait exercise.  Well if it is the latter it has certainly worked (much to the delight of the cafe you reviewed since they have been name checked in all the articles I have read about your comments).  If it was the former, well I need a word.

You see I am one of those tattooed fatties that often day trips to the beach.   You might exclude me as I am pretty middle class and would arrive in either mine or my husband’s Mercedes, but I do have tattoos, one of which is very much on show since it is on my wrist; the other, well let’s just say you won’t get to see it.  But I am large of arse so I am firmly in the tattooed fatty category, so presumably if I were to bump into you at the beach you would be looking down your nose at me also.

Which is a shame since it is people like me that pay your wages by buying the newspapers and magazines that ask you to review the sort of places you were in.   I can’t work out why you felt the need to be so vile about other people around you.  I do quite a few reviews of places and it would never occur to me to be as spiteful as you have been about other people.

But then you do have form as somebody who fat shames other people (remember your comments about people enjoying Park Runs?  You know the ones, when you referred to joggers as “thundering Lycra covered elephants”).

It is despicable that you should EVER refer to people in these terms.   People who are out trying to get fit.  Or enjoying some time in the fresh air with their families.   Who then see themselves referred to as that is shameful.

Yet here you are again, shaming people for doing nothing other than being outside enjoying themselves.

These are also the same people that keep businesses in seaside resorts a float all year round.   Whether those people arriving on beaches are from the town just up the road, the next county, or Europe, they are the ones that spend their hard earned money in the seaside resorts to ensure that when pompous out of towners like you arrive there is somewhere for them to eat.

To review

To get paid for publishing.

You claim to have holidayed there for a few years (yet claim it used to be a private beach which is not true), and I suspect that was only ever over the summer.    Who do you think is filling those cafes and paying the wages of the hard workers when you are holed up in London? People who live slightly closer and can go for the afternoon.  Or who can go for a walk on the beach and buy lunch, which is often what we do at the weekend since we only live an hour from the south coast

So I am sorry you feel that I in some way spoil your enjoyment of the view when you deign to visit the beach.

But do you know what though Mr Giles Coren, I would far rather be surrounded by tattooed fatties than arrogant idiots like you who think they are above everybody else just because they don’t weigh as much or have a tattoo on their wrist to remind them that life is for living.

Maybe you need one of those Mr Giles Coren.   Maybe you need a daily reminder that being nice costs nothing

You should try it sometime.


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  • I would love Mr Coren to come to the beach in France I am sitting on right now. We’ve been here 3 days in a row, tourists mixing with locals and other tourists alike. The thing I love most about it is that no one cares what anyone else looks like. There is no preening, no one reading magazines, or newspapers with reviews in, no strutting. There are saggy bits, tattooed bits, concave bits, bits falling out, white bits (I apologise for my glow in the dark legs) and tanned bits. No one cares. We’ve bought picnics from local businesses, the surf schools are doing a roaring trade and people are happy. Maybe Mr Coren finds that concept hard to grasp? As an untattooed, but very scarred fatty on the beach, happy is good.

    And there was FAR more strutting on the nudist beach we ended up next to. What would Mr Coren say to that?!

  • Oh Dear!
    Giles’s late father was brilliant. His radio performances made me howl with laughter. His writings entertain me today.
    Giles’s sister is bright, articulate, witty. She has good knowledge and an amazing memory.
    And then there’s Giles.
    What went wrong?

    • Yes indeed, what went wrong? I didn’t really know much of Alan’s work but have heard many people echo your sentiments. And Victoria, as you say, is incredibly talented. Giles just seems to have this nasty streak that being horrible to people makes him feel better, not a quality I warm to!