Goodbye

.

Teaandgoodbye

This is a final goodbye to a friend.  Well it might not be a goodbye forever but for now it is.  I have to get this friend out of my life.  Because.  Well because they aren’t really my friend.   I thought they were.

You see they were always there for me.   Already I see I am referring to them in the past tense.  I have been gradually shoving this friend out of my life and today I have decided to make it the final push.

Always there.   When I needed them because I was down and needed a hug.   When I was bouncy and had something that needed rewarding or congratulating.  They were there for me.   Sometimes I had to seek them out and sometimes they were just there.  Almost without me thinking about it.  Almost subconsciously.

For as long as I can remember, they have been there.  I grew up with them.  I can remember them being around when I was little, so now at the age of 45 to be having to say goodbye to them hurts.

There are times when the friendship controlled me.  Made me feel I had no control on what I wanted to do, because if they wanted to be a part of my day, then I couldn’t say no to them.  I didn’t really mind because they were such a good friend to me, I would have done pretty much anything for them.   They nagged me, badgered me, made me take notice of them.

Twice, three times, sometimes four times a day.   Looking back now its all a bit stalkerish.

But do you know what, they weren’t really my friend.  It was a one way thing, this “friendship”.   Not only were they not my friend they actually weren’t any good for me.    Okay they might have been the reason why I wrote several of my most popular blog posts, but for me as a human being, well they just weren’t great.

So this is my goodbye.   My so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen.   That’s it.  Gone.   I am moving on from them and finding different friends now.

Don’t for one minute think shutting them out of my life has been easy.  Really it isn’t.  It’s been one of the hardest things I have done.  And will continue to be.  They seem to constantly appear wherever I am and I have to keep walking past and ignoring them.  That really isn’t like me, normally I smile when I see them and give them a hug.   I can’t do that anymore and it is really really hard.  Really hard.  40 odd years of just welcoming them without question and now I have to ignore and not care, it’s tough.

They have been replaced by these new friends but I am not really ready to talk about them just yet, even though I have been seeing them for a month or so.   A month they have been in my life and already they make me feel better about myself than they did.  Even though at the time I thought those old friends were making me feel great, really they weren’t.    These new friends do, not only can I feel it but I can see it.  They make me feel really great.   Though I am not ready to say any more about them yet.

So that’s it.  These so called friends of biscuits, cakes, junk, carb loaded snacks and crisps are all now in the bin.    They are no longer my friends.

I don’t need them in my life any more.  And they clearly don’t need me.

And with the end of that friendship there has also been the loss of weight in just two weeks.

Proof if proof were needed that the old friendship was toxic, and the new one is better for me.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • *cries* oh well done you – you have really taken control and I know how hard it’s been. So proud of you x

  • Hell yeah!!!! Whoop whoop!! *high fives you* Bloody well done you………screw those sugary little devils, who needs them!!

  • Yes T – I am so happy for you! I am 28 days sugar free now and it’s the one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My aim was not to lose weight , but to be healthier and happier, and you know what, I feel fantastic! Go T! xx

    • Thanks Jennie. Your Motivate Me mantra is working even though we only chatted about it briefly. Long term I dont think I can sustain this new friendship but it is working right now. I do want to talk to you, we must have that long over due chat

  • Oh well done you! I know exactly what you mean, exactly what you are going through and you are fantastic! Have recently been trying to psych myself up to do the same- each of your words struck a chord! You go girl!!

    • Thanks Julie. One day at a time is my approach but it is certainly working. ANd not beating myself up when I do have a bit of a slip. Let me know how it goes!

  • Oh Tanya this is such a good post! I really thought you were talking about a person. I was ready to tell you that I have a friend like this, that I’ve had to move on from, but probably because I became the stalker, not that person. That I’ve moved on, because I was being needy, and hated myself for it.

    But it was biscuits! You had me hooked right to the end – you’re brilliant!

    And well done! So happy for you that you’re feeling more in control. x

    • Thinking about those pesky biscuits as a person I dont need in my life makes it more real for me. And more as though I can give them the shove. But then I am just a weirdo. And you, needy? I don’t think so missus. You are welcome to stalk me any day of the week,

  • Well done, that is a superb loss. I need to say goodbye to carbs as well, bread, biscuits, cake, breakfast cereals, pasta, rice, sugar. I have to stop adding these fiends to my shopping list. I have lost weight once, 5 stone, but I have been too relaxed on my shopping and eating, and the weight is creeping back on.

    Keep in touch with your new friends, embrace them, love them and cherish them. You will flourish, and please introduce them to us when you are ready.

  • Like Helen, I too thought you were talking about a real person and was ready to wade in with ‘I had one of those friends that I had to split up with…’! But biscuits… tis too true.
    Who are these new friends then? Do you think I would like them too?

    Great post!

  • Well done, that’s an amazing achievement! I’m glad you’re feeling so good because for me that’s the most important thing and it will help you keep going.

    Enjoy your new friends!

  • Ah what a fab read – you had my right til the end! Well done you. What an achievement x

  • I have lost 11lb in 5 weeks from doing the very same. I had a glass of cola the other day, and really didn’t enjoy it, after 5 weeks of no sugar, sweets, cake or juice/soft drinks. Amazing what giving it all up does to your body! Well done you! It’s hard, but worth it!

  • That is an amazing in achievement T there are so many nice alternatives that are better for you.Keep it up, we’re all rooting for you.