I am beginning to wonder if the sight of the Coke truck on TV triggers something in Janet Street Porter’s mind that means she has to suddenly become The Grinch. Or maybe it is the thought of having to spend money on presents that means she needs to write another click bait newspaper article.
Four years ago JSP declared that working from home made you mad. I posted my response here: Working from home does not make my bonkers. Now here we are four years later and apparently JSP now wants children banned from restaurants
Give me strength.
But how many dining experiences are ruined because you are forced to conduct your conversation over a cacophony generated by something small, cross and wearing a nappy?
Honestly? I can’t think of any. I can think of many dining experiences I have had that have been ruined by loud and obnoxious bores on the next table barking on about their latest multi million pound deal loud enough for us all to hear. Under some kind of misguided impression that the rest of us give a damn. Or where pissed groups of adults have just been loud and embarrassing, increasingly so as the night goes on.
Children? Not so much Janet.
I’ve got a theory that mums have different hearing to the rest of us
Yep, you got that right Kiddo. We can hear a snuffle from 40 ft away at 2am when we were in a deep sleep. We can also hear the sound of silence when breathing changes in our newborns and then instantly be on full alert for fear they have stopped breathing. We can hear whispers of plotting between siblings in a bedroom upstairs. We can hear the toaster being turned on at 5am when our gorgeous offspring have decided to surprise us with breakfast in bed on Mother’s Day.
If you think that this means we can’t hear our children in a restaurant, you are sadly deluded. We can hear our children in restaurants. It is called “having fun”. Is that a concept with which you are familiar Janet?
Children being children. Being outside, having fun, with their peers. Experiencing life in the big wide world.
And whilst I am on this topic.
Most mums are impervious to smells, too
Please. Do you seriously think that any mother in a restaurant would allow her child to sit in a dirty nappy? Of course she wouldn’t.
Many mums seem to think they have a divine right to monopolise any cafe they can jam their buggies inside.
No they don’t. Restaurants these days typically dont have anywhere to leave buggies. What are parents supposed to do, leave them on the pavement? And what sort of restaurants are you in where this happening? I can’t remember ever being in what you might call “a posh restaurant” and seeing a stack of buggies.
Why do you assume mums feel they have a divine right to anything? From my experience most mothers actually feel teh exact opposite. That society feels that because they hvae had children they no longer have the same rights they once did. That they are now “just a mother” and viewed with pity by people such as you, who may well at point have been a peer.
Sometimes, a few minutes for a quiet coffee and a sandwich are the only time we have to ourselves all day
Consider this Janet. You are a mum with a baby, and maybe an older child. Your day revolves around them and their needs. Your partner is out of the house for maybe 12 hours a day. Your baby doesn’t sleep at night so you are exhausted. Whilst still trying to hold it all together. Running a house, being a dutiful partner, fulfilling the needs of your toddler, maybe breast feeding your baby. You see nobody for an adult conversation day in day out. You only know it is Friday because Eamonn and Ruth are on This Morning and not Phil and Holly. Your one light at the end of the tunnel is your weekly catch up with the girls you met at your NCT class.
Your hour with a cup of tea you get to drink whilst it is still hot, and the panini you get to eat, rather than your usual lunch of four left over chicken nuggets and half a packet of Hob Nobs.
What you don’t want whilst sitting in Costa is somebody like you who thinks that they are somehow better than the rest of us. More entitled to peace and quiet. More entitled than anyone else.
Articles such as yours today are pathetic and say far more about you as a person. A person who judges other women without taking a moment to actually think about what might really be going on.
Photo of Janet Street Porter courtesy of Shutterstock