Annoying Noises


I signed for a package recently.  Nothing unusual in that.   Except it was something Mr B had bought from the US because he thought it was funny.    Something called an “annoyatron”.

The idea being that J would take it back to school, hide it in another boy’s room and wait for the annoying thing to beep.  Yes all very hilarious.

Trouble is for me, it wasn’t annoying.  It was just a beep that went off at random intervals.

For me, the most annoying sound in the world is rustling.   So annoying, in fact, that I can get quite murderous.   I actually cannot stand it.  It goes beyond annoying and I am being serious when I say it  makes me feel physically sick.

The sound of a crisp packet as a hand goes in and out of it.

Taking a dishwasher tablet out of it’s shrink wrap.

Getting a tissue out of a small packet.

Somebody opening a chocolate bar wrapper.

Squeezing the bag of salad to see how fresh it is.

Smoothing out the Quality Street wrapper

Gulping tea.

All of those things can make me heave.   I was on a train once and the person sitting across the carriage from me starting eating a bag of kettle crisps.   I wanted to shove her off at the next stop.   When she then opened a bag of M&Ms I didnt even want to wait until the next stop.

When my granny gave J a tissue recently because he was sniffing in the car it took her a while to get the tissue out of the wrapper (as you would expect, she is in her eighties).   I got the point where I was either going to rip the whole pack out of her hand and throw it at J or scream “just use your bloody sleeve”.    It was only because I was driving and forced myself to concentrate, and turn the stereo up, that I resisted either urge.

If I pick E up from school and she has had a match I will arrive with a quick sugar fix for her.   If we are taking a friend home too E will open hers and as she does so, automatically say “sorry mum”.   And as she hands the treat to a friend, say “you better be quick”.  To which her friends always look a bit bewildered.  Even saying “my mum hates the noise” still leaves them looking puzzled.

I had to go to a different aisle in the supermarket recently because a fellow shopper was squeezing a bag of cashew nuts.  Quite why I don’t know.   But she was and the resulting sound made me want to punch her.   And I am not normally a violent person.   So I left me trolley, pretended to be looking for something else and when she had moved on, I went back.

My kids all know how “on edge” these sounds make me.    I tried sitting on my hands the other night as Mr B tried to enjoy a bag of crisps.   Even that  didn’t stop me instantly wanting to scream “put them in a sodding bowl” so I left the room.  I walked out, simply because my husband was enjoying a small bag of crisps.

How annoying is that?


Image courtesy of Shutterstock


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  • I know exactly how you feel. I can not bear the sound of eating. It makes me want to vomit (really). I’ve been known to shout at my kids who wander over to me while eating “DON’T COME NEAR ME WHILE YOU’RE CHOMPING!”
    I give parents the evil eye when there are children nearby eating noisily because why wouldn’t they have taught their children to eat properly? Why??

  • I’m with you for the noisy eating, but the rustling of a crisp packet! You would hate me as when I’ve finished the packet I fold it up into a small triangle.

  • Coming up behind me and eating down my ear is an absolute no no along with scraping cutlery on plates. It’s making me feel ill thinking about it. I can eat around a table with others but can’t bear someone to try and eat in the same room as me when I’m not eating. I’ve unfortunately screeched at my kids so much about this over the years that they too cannot bear noisy eaters. Sorry kids! Potentially one of the worse things though, is someone eating a packet of Pickled Onion Monster Munch- bleeeuurrgh- double whammy of smell and noise.
    There is also the trauma of having other people’s kids round for tea when they haven’t been drilled in eating quietly like mine-open mouths and chomping hell.

  • With you on that one!

    I feel exactly the same, my husband often sits in the lounge of an evening eating a bag of crisps, he then folds it up into a small square …… so damn annoying, really makes my blood boil!!!

  • Sorry about this! My message gets sent by some mystic Gremlin before I’ve drawn breath!
    I’m sure there must be courses for people like me?
    Now where was I? Ah yes: You do realise that the next time we visit we shall be armed with a long list of irritations which we can inflict on you? Am ordering several stone of crisps now.

  • My ex husband used to fold his used crisp packets into a long thin oblong then tie them in a knot. He also played tunes on his bald head by tapping it and opening and closing his mouth. You’re getting the idea as to why he is my ex husband now aren’t you?

  • OMG Hello and welcome to my world! I am EXACTLY the same. I cannot abide it when I listen to someone rustle a crisp packet and proceed to eat…… sends hackles around my neck and I could honestly punch them! And yes am not a violent or aggressive person either!. Another one is listening to people eat grapes! Would love the know the reason why I am like this????

    I believe that this is misophonia. ???