I was thrilled to finally get a bike last weekend.
I thought a bike was a bike, right?
First of all they are either road / off road or hybrids apparently. Mine being a hybrid which I am told is a good thing. Because it gives me flexibility. Flexibility? Did you see me trying to walk after I did a mile on it on Sunday?
With 21 gears. 21?! That is more than all the cars I have ever owned have had put together. Why do I need 21 gears? With two different levers on the same handlebar as the brake lever. I only need 5 gears in my 4 x 4 and I can go off road in that AND do 110 miles an hour. Why do I need 21 gears to do 20 miles an hour?
One of the last times I rode a bike I went over the handlebars and broke my jaw so I don’t have a very good track record with bikes. (track record, geddit? Did you geddit?)
Something I would like to now rectify.
But since then it has been a steep learning curve on all the things I need to know about riding a bike in 2012 and beyond. And the stuff I need to get.
Padded saddle for instance. Everybody has told me I should get one of these. For obvious reasons. And there was me thinking the padding on my arse would be sufficient.
Padded shorts. Ditto
So I started looking on websites for kit and got bombarded with gilets / gloves / socks / tights / shoes. It was a minefield.
As were bits for my bike. Mudguards / spokey dokeys / lights / computers / different pedals. Where do I start?
And then I was told about something that was a must have. At £17 a cream that no girl with a bike should be without apparently. So I went on line and bought some. Immediately. As instructed.
And now it has arrived I have realised that I know nothing about riding a bike and have more to learn than I could have ever imagined.
Ladies and gentleman I give you:
Hoo ha cream:
“Don’t settle for nuts cream. Don’t ignore the needs of your Hoo Ha. Don’t ride without it”
Words fail me.
You don’t really need all that. Padded seat, okay. Padded shorts for a while but you’ll not need them after about three weeks. I ride in a spin class (harder than a 21 speed, which I also have) and was okay after about three weeks and now don’t need the padding at all. Never used a cream or anything else. Don’t get sucked in by all the fluff….
LMAO I love it! I have recently started cycling and was looking for other blogs that I could read for inspiration and motivation. I love this post. I have the padded seat, no padded shorts (my behind is big enough), I have the lighty up spoke thingies etc but I had not heard of this cream. I love the writing on the packaging… “provides healing and a lasting cool feeling so you enjoy the ride” My dear you have bought yourself some lube! Ha ha I may have to buy some just for the giggle! Love your blog x
OMG i nearly chocked on my drink!!
I have never owned a padded saddle or shorts before & I used to do a lot of riding…but my new padded seat cover is a welcome luxury for my aged ass…one thing I have never suffered from is chaffing though…but I will bear the hoo ha cream in mind just incase I do! I agree with the comments above though,,,,the padding isn’t needed after a while…the arse kind of toughens up, mine is already feeling better! I am giving the padded shorts a miss too…I do not wish to be walking around with what looks like a nappy on, my ass is already plentiful!