Cycling — it’s a learning curve alright

I was thrilled to finally get a bike last weekend.

I thought a bike was a bike, right?


First of all they are either road / off road or hybrids apparently.   Mine being a hybrid which I am told is a good thing.  Because it gives me flexibility.   Flexibility?  Did you see me trying to walk after I did a mile on it on Sunday?

With 21 gears.  21?!  That is more than all the cars I have ever owned have had put together.   Why do I need 21 gears?  With two different levers on the same handlebar as the brake lever.  I only need 5 gears in my 4 x 4 and I can go off road in that AND do 110 miles an hour.  Why do I need 21 gears to do 20 miles an hour?

One of the last times I rode a bike I went over the handlebars and broke my jaw so I don’t have  a very good track record with bikes.  (track record, geddit?  Did you geddit?)

Something I would like to now rectify.

But since then it has been a steep learning curve on all the things I need to know about riding a bike in 2012 and beyond.  And the stuff I need to get.

Padded saddle for instance.   Everybody has told me I should get one of these.  For obvious reasons.  And there was me thinking the padding on my arse would be sufficient.

Padded shorts.  Ditto

So I started looking on websites for kit and got bombarded with gilets / gloves / socks / tights / shoes.    It was a minefield.

As were bits for my bike.   Mudguards / spokey dokeys / lights / computers / different pedals.  Where do I start?

And then I was told about something that was a must have.   At £17 a cream that no girl with a bike should be without apparently.  So I went on line and bought some.  Immediately.  As instructed.

And now it has arrived I have realised that I know nothing about riding a bike and have more to learn than I could have ever imagined.

Ladies and gentleman I give you:

Hoo ha cream:

“Don’t settle for nuts cream.  Don’t ignore the needs of your Hoo Ha.  Don’t ride without it”

Words fail me.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • You don’t really need all that. Padded seat, okay. Padded shorts for a while but you’ll not need them after about three weeks. I ride in a spin class (harder than a 21 speed, which I also have) and was okay after about three weeks and now don’t need the padding at all. Never used a cream or anything else. Don’t get sucked in by all the fluff….

  • LMAO I love it! I have recently started cycling and was looking for other blogs that I could read for inspiration and motivation. I love this post. I have the padded seat, no padded shorts (my behind is big enough), I have the lighty up spoke thingies etc but I had not heard of this cream. I love the writing on the packaging… “provides healing and a lasting cool feeling so you enjoy the ride” My dear you have bought yourself some lube! Ha ha I may have to buy some just for the giggle! Love your blog x

  • I have never owned a padded saddle or shorts before & I used to do a lot of riding…but my new padded seat cover is a welcome luxury for my aged ass…one thing I have never suffered from is chaffing though…but I will bear the hoo ha cream in mind just incase I do! I agree with the comments above though,,,,the padding isn’t needed after a while…the arse kind of toughens up, mine is already feeling better! I am giving the padded shorts a miss too…I do not wish to be walking around with what looks like a nappy on, my ass is already plentiful!