How to start living for you
When you’re a mum, it’s easy to find yourself wrapped up in mum life. And while that’s absolutely perfect, and you’re likely to find that you’re an amazing mother because of it, you could also lose a bit of yourself in the process. Because you are a you, as well as a mum. And it’s important to make sure that you’re making time for yourself and your needs as well as the needs of your family. If you don’t, then you may find that you end up resentful in later life, or you may even experience some form of burn out! And this can be such a shame. Because you are a great mother – you’re doing the best possible job that you can do, and it’s just so important for you to be able to make yourself a priority because of it.
But most of the time, even when you just start to think about doing this, you can hit a wall. You may find that actually, you have no idea how to put yourself first. Or worse – you feel guilty doing it. But you deserve to live your best life as much as your children do! And the best part is – the more you can take care of yourself, live your life, and be happy, the more your family will benefit. Because a happy, healthy, and fulfilled mama is able to do more for her children than when she’s stressed, overworked, and burnt out! So let’s take a look at how you can do this.
First of all, one of the best things that you can do for yourself here, is to slow down. If you are always on the go, running from thing to thing, and going to bed with a racing mind, then it’s going to take its toll. This will affect your energy levels, how well you can do things in life, and it may hard your health in the long-run. But instead, when you can slow down and enjoy life more, you’ll find that you have more energy, that you enjoy the day more, and everyone else benefits too.
The next thing that you need to be able to do, is make sure that you are sleeping enough. Because he more sleep that you have, the more energized you will be. And the more energy you have, the better your day will go. If you can, try to establish a bit of an evening routine that will allow you to get the kids down, to then have some time to yourself, and feel relaxed before bed.
Wake Up Earlier
Now, you may feel as if you actually need MORE sleep. And while that’s probably true. At the same time, you may find that if you can wake up early, that you get more done in the day. Why? Well, you’re going to find that not only can you steal some alone time back to get a few things, but you can often feel more motivated first thing in the morning, and that can set an infectious tone for the day ahead.
Aim For Better Health
The next thing that you should aim to do here, is to work on your health. If you are not healthy, then it’s going to affect your abilities as a mama. But not only that, the healthier you are, the more energetic you will feel. And yes, this is going to keep coming up – because the better state your mind and body is in, the easier it is for you to be the very best version of yourself! So eat well, do some kind of exercise, and make sure that you’re staying hydrated – and that’s an order!
Now this one is a bit of fun. Because we all deserve to be treated every once in a while! And this doesn’t meant to an expensive pair of shoes or a fancy meal – unless you want it to! There are small ways to treat yourself that you can do too. It’s more about giving yourself a little but of luxury in life, so that you can come back to being a mama feeling grateful and rested.
Take Time Out
From here, it may be that you need to actually take more time out from the family day too. Not all of the time, but if you’re wrapped up in mama land for too long, you may start to crack! We all need time alone every now and again to recharge and regroup. Maybe it’s a soak in the bath here and there? Or watching a girly movie on your own? Even a bit of meditation before bed! You need to make sure that you do it for yourself.
Do Something, Just For You
It’s also really important for you to think about doing something just for you. Something that you’ve always dreamt of. Something that will allow you to have precious time away, to make you laugh or feel like yourself again. It could be doing a dance class or going to a book club. It doesn’t have to be big. But it should be something that is yours, and just for you!
Think About The Future
If you gave up work to become a mama, then that’s such a great sacrifice. But, what happens when they go to school? Or they grow up and leave you? Sometimes, you need to think about your own future, and not just theirs. So do you want to go back to work or retrain? Maybe you want to look at studying or finding school counseling programs online or looking for a part-time work from home job? Just make sure that you have a future too!
Start Something New
Or maybe you’ve been thinking about doing your own thing? When that’s the case, go for it. Whether it’s to start a small business, write a book, start a community group – whatever it is, if you’ve been thinking, and thinking, and thinking about it, you owe it to yourself to at least give it a go. It could be the best thing you ever did for yourself and your family!
Use Your Mind
It’s safe to say that when you’re surrounded by children all day long, you may need some mental stimulation! So it can help for you to use your mind as much as you can. That may be taking that source or starting that new venue. But it may also be reading or writing or playing an instrument. So make time to do something with your mind to keep your stimulated.
Another really powerful thing that you can do to find a balance, is to date your spouse. We all know that raising children can be tough. And it’s definitely something that can take its toll on your marriage. But, you will find that the stronger you are together, the better parents you can be. So fall in love again. Have date nights. Enjoy yourself. Just make sure that you’re happy together, that your home life is as good as it can be, and that your connection is stronger than ever.
Be Okay On Your Own
Sometimes, you feel guilty wanting to have some space. But you need distance from your children sometimes. We all do. And it’s important for you to enjoy being on your own, so that you can remember who you are again. So it’s okay for them to stay at a friend’s or go to the grandparents’ for a weekend if you just need a break. You cannot be ‘on’ all of the time. You may need to have a break every now and again so that you can be the best mama you can be.
Indulge Every Once In A While
Finally, it’s also okay for you to be able to indulge in the things that YOU love to do, every once in a while. Huge theatre fan? Book tickets. Want to see Paris? Go with the girls. Remember, you really don’t have to put your life on pause and become a brand new person because you’re also a mother. It’s so important to stay true to who you are, so that you never feel lost or reach a depressing point.
And there you have it! At first, this really can seem like such a difficult and overbearing task, but as you can see, it really doesn’t have to be. It can be as simple as just changing your mindset, working through your day in a more efficient way, or stealing an hour back for yourself! Looking after yourself and putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you’re selfish, it just means that you’re willing to be the best version of yourself that you can be for your kids!
So remember to add yourself to the top of your list! Slow down a little, be kinder to yourself, and look after yourself. Even after just a few days of doing this, you will find that you feel so much better and that life as a mama is way more manageable because of it.