Ranty Friday — 50 Shades of Meh



God I hate this film.  And I haven’t even seen it.    I hated the books and I hate that we now can’t move for having it rammed down our throats.   Twinnings made a tea (but have since back tracked after a huge furore), Tesco are selling dressing gowns, Walmart in the US is selling a gift basket that comes with handcuffs.

Can we all just calm the hell down please?

The book was awful.  It was badly written and not about sex at all.  It’s about control.   The lead character, Christian Gray, has a warped view of the world, and of sex in particular.  His first sexual encounter was as a child with a friend of his mum’s.   Ana, the lead female, is a virgin when she meets Christian so this is all she knows.     She gets suckered in to thinking this is what a relationship is.

Being ordered to sleep for 8 hours a night.

Being given a computer so he can email her and check up on her

Tracking her phone

Insisting she eats everything on her plate and eats a balanced diet.

If those were “rules” as set out in a contract that your best mate casually mentioned her new boyfriend had asked her to agree to and sign what would you be saying to her?

Exactly, you would be telling her to drop the weirdo and get the hell out of there.

Oh and here’s the killer:  she can’t look him the eyes.

Hello?  What?  The man you are having a relationship with?  In love with?  And you can’t look him in the eyes?

Oh and don’t bother with anything other than “Sir” or “Mr Grey” .    Do me a favour?  What sort of girl agrees to that?

One who is being manipulated, stalked and abused.  That’s who.

That is not sex, or a loving relationship, not at all.

And I am sick to the back teeth of this film and all the related crap that is being peddled because of it.   WH Smiths no longer sells “top shelf magazines”, but you can’t move for stands displaying this book and related crud.

This letter from Miriam Grossman is exactly what I wanted to say in this post today:

A psychiatrist’s letter to young people about 50 Shades of Grey

It is spot on.

This film is dangerous.

And not about sex.   Not in the slightest, it is about manipulation and control.

You want a film about sex?  Go and watch 9 1/2 weeks.   Now that’s a film about sex.

This, this is just a bandwagon being jumped on

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  • SO with you! There is NOTHING I less want to watch. 50 Shades of WRONG! Just leaves me very uncomfortable. You’re right – there’s a bandwagon…. I’m letting it drive on by! x

  • Agree with all of this. I find it so unsettling that it has become so mainstream…it’s everywhere and the fact that it is everywhere makes it appear normal, when it isn’t.

  • I have to respectfully disagree. When you view an amazing house, the best thing about it is never the front door. You go in and you oooh and ahhhh about the fire place or the high ceilings or Aga in the kitchen. Such it is with 50 Shades. It is a door. A way in. To Erotica. Do you know how much 100s of 1,000s of women are now reading empowered writing by fabulous authors because this book (which is actually 3 books btw – a trilogy) opened their eyes. This year a lot is happening energetically and astrologically to reawaken the divine feminine and it is a movement that’s gathered pace for years. Women and men are meant to come together in a divine sacred union, and this is information that has been suppressed for thousands of years. There are bigger things happening than just a movie and a trilogy of books. We had matriarchal then we had patriarchal and now finally we are entering a period of time where we see what is possible when we as a society marry the two. For a couple of thousands of years, women have been sluts or nuns, and nowhere in between. This awakening is a necessary tunnel for us to go through, in a transition that needs to take place. No coincidence either that we have been made to think 13 is unlucky when it is not. No coincidence therefore that 13 is a goddess feminine number and no coincidence therefore that the movie is released today. There is a bandwagon but 50 shades is simply a gemstone on a whole necklace and part of a MUCH bigger picture…

  • Hmm.

    Not especially a fan of the books or BDSM but isn’t the point that the book is about sexual fantasy? It’s an undeniable truth that being dominated is one of the the most common sexual fantasies for women, and last time I looked, the sexual instinct wasn’t a big respecter of political or gender correctness.

    I commented somewhere else about that psychologist’s letter yesterday – what ill-conceived, total, patronising bullshit. If being “psychologically healthy” means dreaming of wedding dresses not handcuffs then can I just wish with every fibre of my being that Flea grows up psychologically damaged, in that respect? When it comes to sex, God preserve her from the notion that she has to abide by someone else’s view of what constitutes “normal”.

    • Fantasies played out in healthy relationships need to be mutual. I see nothing mutual in this fantasy. It’s all about what Christian wants.

      • But the story is a fantasy. That’s my point. When someone has a fantasy, or acts out a fantasy about being dominated, I imagine they aren’t incorporating into the fantasy the bit where he says, “Is this okay by you, darling?” because that’s not the fantasy. Dear God. It’s just a book. Read it, don’t read it. Kink, or don’t kink. I don’t mind in the slightest. But I wish we wouldn’t buy into the media’s attempts to use it as yet another stick to beat (bad metaphor) women for having the temerity to have a sexual appetite.

        • Sally believe me I am not beating any woman for having a sexual appetite. Truly. And please dont suggest I am. My point on this post, and it is, after all, my blog, is that I dont like the hype surrounding the book. I mean, seriously do we we need Tesco’s to make dressing gowns and Twinnings to make tea bags? Sure. Write the book, make the sodding film but does it have to be everywhere?

          That’s my point.

  • I couldn’t agree more, i was quite late at reading the books. Couldn’t understand what all the hype was about. I finally got around to reading them and my god were they poorly written. I only read the first and half way through the second before getting fed up. I have no interest in watching the film. Its not something they should be promoting in my opinion. It’s teaching young women that control is acceptable. Well it isn’t!

  • I have to admit that I have not read and have no desire to read the books. Same goes for the film but – I hate all the merchandise being ploughed out around it – it’s getting ridiculous!

  • It is all a storm in a D cup and will blow over , people are gagging them selves with excitement but didn’t we see this with ( and 1/2 weeks the control aspect and that was without the safe words. Again I have no desire to see Shades of grey

  • Why all the hype, sounds like a colour chart for OAP’s to browse through at the hairdressers.

  • I couldn’t even get past the first page… I’m not what you’d consider a literary snob (I hate classics for a start!!) but the narrative style was so appalling, I couldn’t believe it had been published, let alone become a bestseller. It just felt too painful to even try and read it.

    So I can’t really comment on the content (although from what I’ve heard I don’t think I would like it anyway – I have nothing against a good bit of erotic fiction, but this doesn’t sound like that at all). However I am with you on being sick to the back teeth of all the hype… although maybe that’s partly because I don’t “get” it.

  • I do so like that small touch of animosity that you convey! [That’s your birthday present sorted!]

  • Well said that lady! frankly i think it’s a hideous film from what I have seen and am sick of every sodding shop in the world jumping on the bandwaggon about it with 50 shades of shite available everywhere I go!
    Tie the little turd up and lock the door behind you love, see how he likes it for a change!

  • So with you on this one! I haven’t read the books and have no intention of seeing the film either. As I mentor teens in the real world – I always try to talk about mutual respect in relationships and this doesn’t even come close!

  • I haven’t read the book because I knew my mum had already read it and there was no way I could’ve got through it with that knowledge! Tempted to see the film though because I feel like Taylor-Johnson might have worked sensitively with the material.

  • I haven’t read the books, I have no wish to see the film either. I can see 50 shades of grey every time I look in the mirror, in fact I think I probably have more than 50 shades of grey in my hair.