I have a confession to make, although it probably won’t come as much of a surprise if you’ve seen my Twitter: I’m not a fan of football. It’s not that I really actively dislike it, it just seems so pointless to me.
And you know the worst bit? It’s after the game, when you have to watch four men sit in a box at the match, agreeing with each other that it was a dull match, then they have to replay bits of it to show you just how dull it was! It was bad enough the first time! Look at those chumps in the pic above, they can hardly hide their feelings that they would have rather watched the grass growing for 90 minutes than the Uefa match they had witnessed.
I can just about bear watching the game because Mr B enjoys it, but watching men talking about football has to be the most pointless thing. Ever.
Quite how Mr B can sit and be genuinely interested in a match between two teams that HE DOESN’T EVEN SUPPORT is, quite frankly, beyond me, but he seems to like it.
So you can imagine my unbounded joy when he announced that The Euros 2016 are just around the corner. I can look forward to many hours of Sweden v Transylvania or some such (“it’s really important, it decides who comes 2nd in that group and therefore plays the winner of Group C”).
Oh joy unbounded!
Which got me thinking, dear reader – am I alone in finding this mind-numbingly dull and irrelevant? Is it just me?
And if not, how does everyone else get through it?
I’m thinking of proposing an “England’s group only” rule, which would at least limit the amount of grass on the telly to a few hours. That would give me a fighting chance of surviving the Euros 2016 without chewing my own arm off.
Or ‘weekends only’, or ‘days with a u in them’ – that’d be enough, surely? I could even mis-spell Monday if I was feeling generous.
And another thing – why is it always so GREEN? Our lawn doesn’t look like that!
So come on, do you like watching football or have you devised a plan to survive the Euros? And if so, please let me know – I may need some help to get through this. My current plan is to totally immerse myself in Netflix and binge watch series after series (PS have you started Orphan Black yet?! If not, why not? If so, welcome sestra)
Especially if it involves wine, tea or cake. Shall we have a Cake-along-the-Euros hangout maybe? We could do Bara Brith for the Welsh games, Black Forest Gateau for Germany and a nice sponge cake for England……maybe surviving the Euros 2016 won’t be that difficult after all?
Picture of commentators courtesy of Shutterstock