You know the ones.
And whenever I hear them they make me want to do serious injury to the speaker. The following are the worst offenders
What is wrong with a simple “fried”. What else are they supposed to use? The bonnet of my car? A dust bin lid?
I heard this used to describe the chicken on a Pizza Express pizza this week and I nearly drove to the nearest one to yell at the manager. Hand torn chicken. Instead of “ripped apart by a fox chicken”.
Cooked to perfection
Well so you say. But how do you know what I think is perfect? Ask me how I want my steak cooked to perfection and I will tell you “wipe its arse and slap it on the plate”. That would be far from perfect for somebody who wants theirs cremated.
Oh please. Hand battered cod? Really? Because dipping it in batter by hand is going to have any impact on the taste? Is it hell as like. Put it on the end of a unicorn horn and I might notice but not by it being handled by some spotty teenager.
Hand stretched dough
This makes me weep. All pizza dough should be hand stretched. How else do they think it should be done? Through a mangle?
What else would a drink be?
Vine grown tomatoes
Yep, make sure you chose this variety and not the ones that sprout out of the ground, ready tinned.
Oven baked. Because any other food that is baked is done how exactly? Is the restaurant now using a fire pit dug out in the car park? Shame on them then that we have to make do with bog standard “oven baked”
Got any more?
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