Dear Rog


Roger Barrow


I just wanted to say Happy Birthday because today would have been your 50th.  Is your 50th.   Is.

Sorry for singing to you at just gone midnight.  I had been on the Pimms in a tin and I really shouldn’t drink on an empty head.

So here you are, on my blog because I can’t send a letter or card to you.  Well, it takes a week to get a letter delivered to Reading so God knows how long it would take to get to you up there.  You didn’t think you would escape from appearing on my blog at some point, did you?  Other posts have mentioned you before but I wanted to mark your special day today in the only way I know how these days.

I would really like to pick the phone up to you but I have had to delete your number from my phone because seeing it made me sad.  Took a while though, probably about a year.    And actually if I did pick up the phone to you I would chew your ear off first.

Remember that day in Wilmslow soon after you left?  I was alone as your folks and Mr B had gone out and I stood on the landing and actually shouted at you.  Out loud.  Telling you how fecking angry I was with you for leaving us like that.   Boy was I angry.  I am not anymore.

Well not about that.  I am still cross with you about the solar lights.  You remember.  You took them all out of the grass and shoved them in again so they read “TIT” from the bedroom window.  Yeah.  That.   I will forgive you anything other than that.

Not a day goes by Rog that I don’t think about you.   I miss you.   You were only a part of my life for 6 years but it was a pleasure to know you and call you my brother in law.

God I miss you.

This picture makes me laugh every time I look at it.  The photographer asked us to stand together, both of you with your arms around me.  You pinched my arse.  Hard.   Mr B couldnt work out why I was laughing so hysterically. And we got what may well be my favourite photograph ever.

I shall raise a glass to you later, Rog.   Happy birthday




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  • Why is it that deleting the phone number the hardest thing to do? I’ve been there too and even thinking about it is bringing a tear to my eye.

  • It’s the facebook pages that get me… wish Al a happy birthday… write on Al’s wall… suggest friends for Al…
    In 9 days time, it will be 2 years since my grandad died and we still can’t bring ourselves to contact facebook to deactivate his account. Can you believe he was 82 and on facebook!

  • Thinking of you & Your husband. Everytime I read about your brother in Law it makes me so glad that I came through, and that however bad it is there are people care. xx

    • There are always people around that care. Sometimes it is just too hard to put your hand up and ask for help. So glad you did.

  • Oh MummyB, Oh Mr B, I don’t know what to say,I’m useless with emotional things so I will just send some love through the airwaves today. I have saddled up one of my pigeons and it’s en route to you now x

  • This post actually made me cry! I’m so sorry for you! You have such a way with words! X

  • Sending hugs, I still have little mans Godfathers number and my grandmas, I really cant delete them.

    Again your words are well written x

  • We all miss him. A subtle mix of genius, comic and maverick and possessed of a fantastic memory.

    Lady B and Mr B are off to Mobberley on this bright sunny morning to have a chat with him but I shall not – it’s a long walk from the car park and I wouldn’t be able to manage it. I’ll be there in spirit. R.I.P.

    • and if only he could see those qualities, Jim. I don’t think he did.

      Can’t imagine your pain on days like today but know that there are a lot of people out there sending you all warm wishes.

      And raising a glass to keep his memory alive.

      I too am in Mobberley in spirit and have spent some time out with my own little birthday tree you and he planted in our garden the month before he died. (and stopped Cheeky trying to mark it in his own unique style)

  • What’s lovely tribute to a plainly lovely man, you have a wonderful way with words, and I always look forward to reading your blogs. Happy Birthday Rog, RIP.

  • Sounds like a very special person, who would have loved to read those lovely words on your post. Sorry to hear that you lost someone so special.x

  • Ahhh such fond memories! Lots of love to you all (as always) but extra special thoughts today. A top man… ‘solar titgate’ still amuses me to this day!!! … Hope the sun shines kindly on Mobberley today. Much love xxx

  • Birthdays and Christmas’s are always tinged with sadness when you’ve lost someone very close . He’s still around……., you just can;t see him !

  • I have a wry smile on my face. I attended a funeral on Friday for our neighbour who died suddenly. We laughed at his skill in cutting through hedge trimmer cables, locking himself out and in, and being meticulously organised except in death! It is never the right time and we will always miss them. *sniggers* Tit! x

  • Am sorry for your loss, and for your hubby and his family. Depression is a terrible thing, destroys so many lives! 🙁
    Such a lovely tribute to him!

  • Just had to reread this as we’re going through it at the moment. I just can’t believe it and am full of “could, should and would” haves. Keep looking at the last photo I took to see if there are any signs. There aren’t. The last phonecall/ text. There wasn’t. All I can hope is that she is at peace now.

    RIP Rog
    Love to you and all the family xxx