This week’s rant inspiration came to me on Sunday night when we went to the cinema to see Skyfall (which is brilliant, by the way). It’s about cinemas and more specifically other cinema goers.
Firstly, when you get in the cinema. SIT DOWN and STAY SITTING. Don’t get up and start fidgeting around within ten minutes of sitting down. Don’t then go and get another drink, food, or for a wee. Get to your seat, sit down. Sit still. And be prompt. You know what time the film starts. There is no excuse to arrive fifteen minutes after the start and clamber over people mumbling “sorry, sorry” whilst juggling food and drink.
Food and drink
You are watching a film for between two and three hours, do you really need a bucket of pop corn or a whole bag of M&Ms? Seriously? Would you be eating that if you were watching Bond at home on a Sunday afternoon? When did you last make popcorn at home?
If you do insist on eating in the cinema do it quietly.
But do not ever ever ever sit near me with a) crisps in a bag, or b) sweets with a wrapper. I will confiscate them and give you a mummy stare that will turn you to stone.
Ditto if you sit there slurping the last of your drink. Repeatedly
Don’t even think about eating a hot dog or a burger near me, please. They stink. You are in a cinema. Not a restaurant. Plan your viewing better and eat before or after, not during. Ever.
Talking
Don’t. Shut up. You have just paid £9 to watch a film. Watch it. We don’t want to hear loud whispers of “oh this bit is so good” etc. That is showing off and goes beyond annoying.
Coughing
There was somebody coughing in the cinema on Sunday night and I swear I wanted to go and punch him. If you are coughing you are spreading germs. Please don’t. We don’t want your germs. You are ill. Go home.
Feet
Do not keep kicking my seat. Do not slump in your seat and put your feet up the back of mine, pushing mine forward. I will turn around and stare at you until you move them.
If everybody abides by these rules then I might go to the cinema more often. The reason I don’t is because one or more of these things irritates me to the point that I can’t concentrate.
This week’s Friday Rant. Do link up if you have a similar post.
I went to see Skyfall, really enjoyed it. Didn’t enjoy the bloke in front of me constantly using his phone to sms/tweet.
Also, people who fart in cinemas should be banned too, or have a bucket of cold cola (that costs about £6 from the kiosk in the cinema – don’t get me started on the costs of food/snacks there) over them!
I’m afraid my Ranty Friday is a bit of a pity party, not really a rant today! Sorry!
oh yes, this is so so true.
I have decided the thing I least like about cinemas is the presence of other people. Or maybe I just don’t like other people full stop. Good rant. Have linked 🙂
I think you and I might be two peas in a pod
you need to come to the Everyman cinema in Hampstead. They have proper food and wine, frozen yogurt, huge sofas…what the cinema should be, a lovely treat! let me know if you want to come one night x
*grabs coat and car keys and cancel rest of day’s appointments*
What what what?!!!! My parents take wine and two glasses in a cool bag when they go to the cinema. I love the idea of sofas!
Seriously I am there….. let’s organise it!!!
The last time I went to the cinema was to see The Full Monty (I kid you not!). Oh and I fell asleep during a Bond film that hubby took me to see years ago. I hate the cinema!
THis is the first Bond film I have seen all the way through. I, too, slept through the last ones!
Papasaurus refuses to go to the cinema anymore because of the scourge of popcorn and crisp eaters. It is REALLY infuriating. I’ve seen people stand up and shout at other folk in packed cinemas over drinks slurping before.
Can’t beat a cinema with bar I say!
I like the concept of going to the cinema but from the minute I arrive (trying to ensure my smuggled in Malteasers aren’t melting in my handbag) it’s hard work. I eat the malteasers because I’m distracted from the film by the glowing lights of the mobile phones and the running commentary from those around me… urgh.
I get what you are saying! I hate people eating crisps and popcorn at the cinema. Especially the loud ones! That is why I don’t g as often either!
I so want to see Skyfall but I will go too many times to the toilet and will spoil it for myself and others so I better not 🙁
I can’t remember the last time I set foot inside a cinema thanks to my 3 kids, but if I was parting with wads of cash for the privilege I’d want a fart-free, uninterrupted experience too, unencumbered by the details of someone else’s personal life conducted over their mobile throughout.
I posted something yesterday and thought it a good fit for your linky – I hope you don’t mind me sharing. It’s a cautionary tale about a certain business-focussed social network – haha, they like to refer to themselves as professional but, after my experience, well… judge for yourself.
Thanks for posting up my link, Mummy Barrow x
I can’t remember when was the last time I went to a cinema, not just most of the films here in Thailand are dubbed in Thai but I always reluctant to sit in because of these annoying stuff.
I love you! I avoid the cinema where possible for just the same reasons! The best ever trip was to see Hitchhikers Guide. We went having dropped the kids off at school (the joys of doing shift work!) and went for the 1.30 showing – in term time! We were the only people in that screen! – Bliss!