Ranty Friday — Women

Well clearly I am not ranting on Ranty Friday about women full stop (do I now put a full stop after the full stop?)  what with me being one and all that.    What I AM ranting about though is women that belittle other women.

I am seeing more and more of it recently and it makes me cringe.   Women picking on women.  Putting them down and just being plain nasty.  Belittling their opinion or a decision they have made for no other reason than because they feel they can.  Whatever happened to Sisterhood?

Just yesterday we saw Judith Woods write a piece with the headline “Three babies by three fathers will it be third time lucky for calamity Kate“.   I am sorry, since when did it become a crime to have three babies by three different men?  When did we stop congratulating a woman on being pregnant?   Judith Woods is completely missing the point here that maybe the reason Kate has been divorced twice is down to something her previous husbands did.  I am not saying it was but why is it Kate’s fault she is now happily married for the third time?

That whole article is spiteful.

Liz Jones has made a career out of being nasty and bitter

Don’t get me started on Samantha Brick

Katy Hopkins is another woman.  Won’t employ fat women.  They are all lazy apparently.   Yeah right.  I am the laziest person I know, Katy.  That’s right.  Don’t judge me on my ability to a job. Judge me on my ability to demolish a packet of biscuits.

Why do these women have to be so cruel to other women?   Is it something deep rooted in their psyche?  Did they not get enough hugs when they were babies?

And it isn’t just women in the media either.  I have seen some serious belittling and bullying on social media recently.   By women of other women.  Women who dared to voice an opinion.  Dared to say what they thought of a situation.   Women not saying “hmm I see what you are saying there, can’t agree but …. “.   No, launching in to them and basically tearing a strip off them.

To what end?  To make themselves feel better?

Whatever happened to “if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say anything?”.

I am not saying we should go around blowing smoke up our our peer’s arses but please.   Can we stop the vitriol.


PS yes, that is Annie in that picture.  And my lovely friend Fiona with her daughter.  Women.   Women I love who don’t bully other women.   They make them feel fabulous in Annie’s case, and in Fiona’s look fabulous.   Everyone should have an Annie and a Fiona in their lives.

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  • You have an amazing knack of putting things across so well, this week on FB I have seen some awful things said about other women that I won’t get involved because basically the bullying is a disgrace, what started as a personal argument fell into so called professional pages and then the followers of each page went and attacked them also, in effect bullying also 🙁 very sad what can happen to a person mentally through issues like this, its time people stopped to consider what they say before saying anything x

  • Some wonderful women clubbed together to buy me a ticket for Britmums. I proudly announced it on my Facebook. Another woman then claimed I had pretty much begged people to buy it for me. Thus making me feel like utter crap even though I knew I hadn’t but simply because I then worried people thought that. Women can be nasty but the vast majority I know are lovely.

  • I have to wonder where people find the time and energy to be so horrible to other people. Do you think people bully and pick on people and rip people to shreds because they’re insecure and miserable themselves? I also think unfortunately, social media has enabled more bullying. It’s easy to pick on someone and rip them apart when you aren’t actually with them in real life?

  • Quite agree, and not only because I have 3 kids by 3 dads a la Winslet. I didn’t expect that to be the way thing turned out, but I am happy, my kids are happpy, and apart from it taking a while to list all the different surnames at the Dentist, it doesnt cause us any issues. Unfortunately not everyones life is a fairytale, and my kids are the result of three long term relationships, the first two were happy for many years, then werent happy and ended. Am hoping the thrid one sticks, but I also know life can throw you a curve ball when you least expect it!

    I am on the panel at BritMums discussing feminism, and one of my main points will be that we need to stop picking on each other, agree some fundamental rationales- ie Freedom of Opportunity and Freedom of Choice, and then learn to live and let live on the other stuff. Feminism will get no where while we are all pulling each other to pieces.

  • Hear hear! I’m so glad of my real friends. Just yesterday I was with my two closest friends, who don’t judge me at all. Even when I let loose all my worst traits, they just laugh and make me feel like I’m funny, not wrong or stupid. I’m halfway through composing a letter to my daughter on this subject – don’t mistake fun people for friends if they ever make you feel like you can’t be completely yourself, with no apology.

  • Every woman should have other amazing women in their lives and I am fortunate enough to do so. What makes me even sadder is that there are younger girls (I’m talking those whose ages are in single figures) who see this behaviour and therefore feel it is appropriate or even necessary to start being vile to each other because that is what “grown up” (?!) and “successful” women do. It adds an extra level of wrong. We need to educate the future generation of women that being horrid to each other is just bang out of order, that you may not agree with other opinions but chastising people for having them is not the way to live in a functional community.

  • I agree with you! There’s a difference between constrictive criticism and bullying! Some women just cross the line!

  • Aces to the sea of red hair! I agree, I’m finding myself more and more likely to hold my tongue now (I am honestly) when it comes to situations where women are belittling women.

  • Ahhh I’ve come over all emotional reading that…I’m lucky to have such lovely ladies around me, both on and offline 🙂

    Sometimes I see women picking on other women and it feels like being a teenager at school again with the popular ‘mean’ girls sniping at others – thing is the people I see doing it are nearly 40!

    Well said Mummy Barrow x

  • Hear hear.
    And I love Annie – she keeps me sane – especially when I discover people are blocking me and don’t even know me!
    And don’t get me started on how rude a certain person was on twitter because my friend blogged something she didn’t like!

  • Another fabulously written post. Can’t help thinking that all of us should ‘Be nice, or leave,’ life’s tough enough as it is!!

  • I was in such a hurry this morning when I linked up that I a) didn’t get a chance to comment on your post and b) linked up the WRONG post. Sorry about both! Particularly the latter, because the one that I linked up is NOT a rant. I did have a rant to link up too (I’m sure you’re not suprised that little ol’ me had a rant). So…again, sorry about that! I am back to both apologize and to make up for ‘a’, because I do have stuff to say about your post. 1) really good pos,t as always and 2) I completely agree. I think it’s missing the point for women to bash one another. It keeps us divided, when we should be united around things like that matter in society: figuring out ways to make sure everyone gets an education, has food, healthcare, etc.

    If you wanna delete my non-rant post, I completely understand and will be back again next week to contribute more venomous affairs…

    • Hahah… thanks for the clarification. I did read your linked post and thought “oh but that is really sweet and not a rant at all” and suspected you had linked up the wrong one!

      I wont delete it though as it is a lovely post and if people hop over and read it then that is a good thing.

      Look forward to seeing you back, and ranting, next week!

  • I don’t get it when women are cruel to other women: I think you’re probably right when you asked if it’s something deep rooted in their psyche. I’ve had a particularly tough past year which I managed to get through because of the wonderful support from my women friends. I’m a newbie blogger and one of the best things I’ve been discovering is incredible and inspiring women voices in social media and blogging. Or some that just make you smile and laugh. Or some who offer new and different views.
    Thank you for your thought provoking post!

  • It’s a shame that some people have to stoop so slow to put their point across and get the last word. Having been a victim to some of the most horrible female bullying myself, it saddens me to see that some women think it is okay to behave like this, yet expect to be respected in return. Life is not a popularity contest – it’s not about getting one over on someone else. I’ve found that some of the most valuable people in my life, are those who show compassion and the ability to disagree with something, without it turning into a cat fight. Those people have something to offer and will be the ones that I look up to.

  • I have been a victim of bullying by another woman…..the reason….for talking and blogging about my disabled son. It really knocked me for six and made me doubt myself so much. Im a quiet shy person and I think bullies do pick on people who are quiet like me. Sad but true. Xx

    • Bullies are weak Karen. So they try to prove themselves otherwise by picking on other people. It makes them feel better about themselves because they have no other way of doing it. It’s pathetic. It takes a stronger person to stand up and say “actually this IS bullying and I don’t like it”.

      You are an amazing woman and have more strength to just get through every day than anybody I know.