Samantha Brick, a word please, Love

Samantha, Samantha, Samantha.

Nope, dear reader, not Cameron.   Brick.   Samantha is the new Caprice / Kate / Naomi / Elle.

You may not have heard of her.   Let me enlighten you:

There are downsides to looking this pretty

Photo taken from Daily Mail, copyright them

So beautiful the captain of an aircraft sent you a bottle of Champagne.   Really?

I have done an awful lot of flying and I dont think in all the times I have flown I have ever even seen the Captain.   You see, he is generally too busy sorting out the big silver shiny thing that will transport 400 people across oceans to be looking at “pretty girls”.

To be fair a steward did once give me an extra packet of nuts with my Vodka and orange.

Given a bunch of flowers by a man in Portobello Road?   Do I dare ask if it was the end of the day and he just couldn’t be bothered to chuck them in the bin?

You are not alone in that, love.

“I’m not smug”  you say.   Hmmm  not smug but see fit to tell your story to a  national newspaper. The story of just how beautiful you are and what a burden this is.

May I ask which planet it is you are living on?  It surely isn’t this one.

You are deluded.  I am sorry Samantha to be the bearer of such bad news.   But you are.   You certainly havent been hit with the ugly stick, I grant you that.   You are blonde and you are skinny.  Yep.  You are both those things.   But so beautiful you feel it is blight on your life and you cannot wait to get older and grey?   Please.

If you were to walk into Storm or Elite they would ask where to sign for the package they think you must be delivering.  They wouldn’t run round screaming that they had found the new supermodel of the century.

There is one thing you can be grateful for, though.

You have given me the biggest laugh I have had in AGES.

For which I am most grateful.  I might even buy you a bunch of flowers.

Update

Here we go.   Samantha has torn herself away from preening in front of the mirror to comment to the Evening Standard:

Ms Brick was unrepentant when contacted by the Standard saying the negative remarks “proved her point” that people dislike her because she is beautiful.

You really really, don’t get it do you?  I don’t dislike you because you are beautiful.   I dislike you because you are not.   You are mildly attractive.   You are not beautiful.

You are slowly proving that you are, in fact, Dagenham Mad.   That is, four stops on from Barking.

 

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    • I did wonder that Emily. Had it been bumped from Sunday’s edition, maybe? I think not though.

  • Ha! I love this, I honestly thought it was an April Fools when I read it… the poor love should consider that perhaps her empty-head and superficial musings on her “older, dumpier” friends and bosses are the things that make her so alone – If this is the blight of her life, we should swap problems. Thanks for the laughs mummybarrow!

    p.s: “awful -lot- of flying” – quick, fix it! 🙂

  • I am trying to be charitable and think it’s just a hatchet job done by the Daily Mail.

  • Having been made aware of her back catalogue of articles – she appears to be at odds with herself. She feels she is fat, spotty and suffers from greasy skin according to her past writings. So do we applaud her for believing despite the fat greasy spotty skin she is beautiful or do we think “Hold on just a minute Love, do you read your own writing? Or do you just write what your pretty little head tells you to?” I would imagine if I write anything that disagrees with her it’s because I am envious of her incredibly ordinary looks. Being a woman I will be unable to cope with her prettyness and feel threatened. Or I could just think she is incredibly deluded. Oh well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that!

  • I wondered if perhaps men in Paris greeted her out of taxis and presented cash because she was dressed like a hooker? It’s not the being (not) beautiful that is so hilarious, it’s the sheer size of her ego combined with her utter stupidity and blinkered approach to life that has got me rolling round the floor pissing myself. I wouldn’t mind, but she looks like a cross between a horse, and Garth off Waynes World. Shen eeds to get her teeth fixed.
    PS: Who the hell actually is she??

  • Excellent article, made me laugh out loud.

    She really doesn’t get it at all, does she? Quite breathtaking lack of awareness of her own bad behaviour and total lack of responsibility for anything in her life. The Wicked Stepmother in Snow White has nothing on her she really believes she is the most beautiful person in any room! We can only pray that old age descends quickly and removes the “burden” of beauty from this poor woman. Presumably when she was young and fat she blamed that for her lack of friends too. I wonder what she’ll find to blame next after her “looks” have faded when people continue to find fault with her?

  • I am guessing that she writes pretty much whatever the Daily Mail tell her to write to get as many snide comments from the readers, attention from other newspapers and potential new readers, sites like Mumsnet and bloggers posting about her.

    At the last look she had three thousand comments on that article. I reckon she’ll be pretty chuffed at the bonus she could get and the guarantee of a further commission in the future.

  • The DM generates a lot of revenue from advertising based on the number of page views. I reckon this article will have made them a mint. It is, of course, utter nonsense, but quite amusing just the same. The author does seem to specialise in provocative, gender based twaddle. I wonder if she’s deluded or if she knows how to create a controversy that will up the page views? Have we all just been mugged?

  • A very ordinary looking woman with an extraordinarily huge ego. However, I’ve never laughed at anything in the Mail but this had me, and seemingly much of the nation, in hysterics – great distraction from our ills!

  • What a muppet. She needs to stop twiddling with her blond locks and thinking how pretty she is and look at the bigger picture. Real beauty is in the heart and mind.

  • Having lived in Dagenham, I can genuinely say the women there look far better than Sam Brick, who clearly has some kind of narcissus complex. She’s pretty, she’s just normal looking and she has an over inflated ego. She needs to get over herself and stop inflicting her insanity on the rest of us.

  • I’m just glad that I was born plain. I don’t have to spend hours a day on my own appearance, nor worry about going grey. I don’t give a fig what other people think about my face or clothes, nor whether or why other people might hate me. It’s so liberating. I’m just getting on with my life, enjoying my friends and my children – so glad that I’m not beautiful.

    I don’t know whether to laugh or feel profoundly sorry for Samantha. Not hatred though, she’s to be pitied rather than blamed, and by her own admission she is keeping the letches of this world away from the rest of us…..

  • MummyBarrow – Loved your response, I have also been thinking today about the confidence or indeed arrogance of Ms Brick not realising that I am not the only one! Wonder if she thought to watch last night’s “Undateable’s” last night on Channel 4 (I think) or perhaps she is too perfect for that. PS I have seen the Captain on a recent flight to India, he didn’t offer me any champagne or even some of the nice nuts you sometimes get, he was just queuing for the loo like the rest of us mere mortals.

  • While I don’t think that she is particularly pretty (for my tastes, anyway and putting aside the point about every human being beautiful in the eyes of somebody), I do see at least some of her point. It. is unfortunate that we live in a society where prettier people (male or female) get things done for them and receive rewards because of it. The supermodels that you mention expect better treatment and rewards because the industry and those people that follow such things believe that they rise above the norm of the “plain” girls. It is very rare that you will see a model that looks healthy, without a hint of an eating disorder and happy to be a good size 12-14.

    Maybe she is a little deluded about herself. It’s not for me, or anyone else to say because I don’t know her and I don’t know what goes on behind the closed doors of her personal life. One question, though. Why are we as a society expected to be so self-deprecating all the time. If a person were to write an article about being ugly, they may get a few comments of “there, there”, and at best a phone call or tweet from a few close, personal and ultimately worried friends. The irony there is that those friends would tell her that she is not ugly, and shouldn’t think about herself that way.

    What I find utterly disgusting, reprehensible and entirely inexcusable is the way in which she has been treated by society. She has been bullied to the point of receiving death threats from a society that claims to be one of the most tolerant in the world. My only hope is that she will pull through, and those friends that know and love her will stick by her, something which unfortunately I doubt will happen.

  • This was such a lovely blog post that I had to share it with others, it is up on the LAB website in catagory Lifestyle!

  • thank you for filling me in on this one, been away and missed it – to be honest I wonder why it ever got to press, good for you love sort of thing, but I don’t need your opinion on yourself? Unless she is famous is she? No idea.
    Anyway, love your blogs my darling, hope to see you again soon!
    Annie x

  • Samantha Brick thinks she has it hard being an attractive woman but try being a hot dad.

    It is embarrassing. While playing the tickle monster game with baby in the park I am asked by mothers, not all of them single, if they can be chased and tickled too.